We also don’t get to ask ourselves whether their misbehavior was normal when we whisk them off to a time out.
For all I know, he might think he gets a time out whenever he feels upset. Hitting is never the appropriate way to express frustration, but in sending him to a time out, I didn’t acknowledge the underlying reason.
In his mind, he was hitting his brother because he didn’t want his toy taken away and had no other way to say so. Hitting warrants a serious reaction, I reasoned.Įxcept I didn’t address his frustration. I refer to this as “honoring the impulse,” a term coined in the book, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Laura Davis.įor instance, my toddler had a horrible habit of hitting others. When we send our kids to time out, we overlook the underlying and valid reason they acted up in the first place. Time outs don’t acknowledge your child’s feelingsĭisclosure: This article contains affiliate links, which means I will earn a commission-at no extra cost to you-if you make a purchase.
PARENTS TIME OUT PDF
Download your PDF below-at no cost to you:Ģ. She’s all by herself.įree download: Do you struggle with getting her to listen? Join my newsletter and discover the ONE effective word to get her to listen and follow instructions. Why? She has nobody talking to her about these issues. She might even think she’s a bad person for deserving this time out. She doesn’t understand why she’s punished when her baby sister ruined her building blocks. No, she’s still fuming at the unfairness of it all. Nor does she reassure herself that his feelings are valid, or that she’s loved no matter what. She doesn’t realize it’s her actions-and not her as a person-that needs to change. Sit and learn your lesson.Įxcept… they’re not learning their lesson.Īlone in that corner, your child isn’t thinking about why she shouldn’t have hit her baby sister. That’s the point, right? Punishment means removing the things kids enjoy. More importantly, learn what you can do instead that will strengthen your relationship with your child: 1. Take a look at these compelling reasons why time outs don’t work. Not only are they an ineffective method in the long run, they also don’t serve our kids well. We may have even grown up with time outs and figure that we turned out all right.īut there’s more to time outs than we think. So, why don’t time outs work? After all, we hear about them so often, whether from other parenting resources, on television, or our friends and family. But to send our kids to time out is not the best strategy, especially if we want them to learn valuable lessons about their behavior and choices. Walking away to another room or taking a breather to collect ourselves is better than lashing out and losing our cool.
You see, the more I researched and learned about time outs, the more I realized that they can cause more harm than good.Īnd if anyone should get a time out during a heated moment, it should be us, the parents.
In fact, I think there are far better ways to handle misbehavior. You can even consult charts suggesting how many minutes per age to put her in a time out.Įxcept… I don’t think they work. She’ll learn that those actions aren’t tolerated, and that consequences follow her misbehavior. You hear it all the time: If your child misbehaves, put her in a time out. Do time outs really work? Many parents use time outs to discipline, but here’s why time outs don’t work and what to do instead.
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